Wednesday, May 31, 2006

:) ;)


often, i find it hard to find someone who is so happy and always have a smiling icon on his/her face. Titi did. She is our office cutie's pie, even the country manager (CM) did the same thing..the CT always says: hi dear titi cutie's pie ! ;)

Posted by charlene at 10:08 PM | | Comments | links to this post

dinner @ sahara tent

off work over dinner with Janice. It's been awhile and i hadn't seen her for almost half a year so much that i had extremely busy work schedule. Whenever she calls up for a meet up, it never would materialise...tonight, we met and had Arabain food.

Posted by charlene at 9:40 PM | | Comments | links to this post

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

my baby MYVI

almost done! i finally collected my new car today! yahoo! it's in Olive green. I am loving it so much compared the initially i thought i chose the "gold" in color, but i decided to go ahead with Olive green. Great! so i don't hafta take the public transport anymore. I have got my own property at the age of 26. Now, i will have to plan for something else, perhaps a comfort zone or planning for my Master Degree...so many things to do. I cannot imagine.
mumsie was right. Breakfast kick starts your metabolism, which becomes sluggish overnight. It should be the most important meal of the day, and there is plenty of research to back up this claim. In fact, not eating breakfast is really the worst thing you can do, according to the experts. Well, since then i never would skip the "king size" breakfast every morning before or after I reaches the office. I will then proceed with 8 glasses of green tea for the day followed by lunch and dinner. So, people, please do not assume having to skip breakfast will be one of your diet plan, it never would helped..believe me. :)

Posted by charlene at 9:14 PM | | Comments | links to this post

Monday, May 29, 2006

of a monday evening


so, these 2 piccies are my liking and it is pasted on my work desk permanently. Well, this morning when i step into the office, these 2 piccies were gone. I was so surprised. Apparently, the manager came upfront telling me that she has used this 2 piccie for her upcoming project in which the client required a "model" for their Japanese GT..ha! imagine i'll go work as a part time "model" in the sepang sooner or later if i am shortlisted for the job. I had a weird feeling but no harm if i would probably be a supermodel someday? hahahahaha, dreaming you charlene!!..just kidding~!!!!..but they have already send to the client. Let's see the feedback then...ok, do you think i can be a Japanese GT modelling? ;)

Meanwhile... it's another rainy day. I took half a day leave to runs some errands. So, the feeling is just so nice all in all. Methinks rainy days are too precious and rare to be spent nursing headaches. Rather they should be meant for you to sit besides the window, drinking a hot cuppa of coffee, listening to ballads, and just thinking about your life, futures, career. I don't know whether it is just me or any other people, when people come up to me and ask me how life’s been, there’s a conflict between two sides in me.
On one side I am actually quite touched all together now, “awww…” because there are people actually willing to spend their time inquiring about my rather inadequate life. And no I’m not being sarcastic, seriously. On the other side, there is a tremendous frustration welling up within me, because my life just leaves much more to be desired, and I’m not sure if I’d be able to offer a satisfactory answer. My “work” life is just as it is - army, and nobody except army gals would want to talk about army. And even to the army gals, how variably interesting can doing guard duty get? But as a side-point, despite how incredibly mundane and banal it is, compared with the prospects of being back on Class II course, I would actually consider it the lesser of two evils. My initial brush with depression left me with a suppposed ability to lock myself up in denial quite quickly in regards to anything remotely… depressing. Denial, put on a facade, and I’m back to feeling nothing. As far as I can remember it was a rather damn good thing at first when it just started. To just not have to feel that pain for one moment. That numbness could have been almost a drug. But it exploded to become a void ultimately so empty that I started to withdraw and lose traces of my perceived humanity. A lot of my relationships suffered as a result. Many still are.
Thought of the day: my "baby myvi car" will be ready for collection tomorrow, i can't wait!! :)

Posted by charlene at 7:54 PM | | Comments | links to this post

Sunday, May 28, 2006

my mandarin

i'm really sad to announce that the attrition rate of my Mandarin is not that fast considering that am lack of people around me who has similar native language as in me. Hence, methinks "I" speaking good mandarin is not equivalent of writing a good mandarin. However, I'm glad that I'm able to read, write and listen since I have received 8 years of Mandarin education. Successfully, liaising in communication with the "Typical china man" should not be a major problem for me..i am glad once again.

speaking of which, it's a bit of shame that it's really frustrating to know that I was not capable of writing good Mandarin for my journalism and PR assignments during i was in high school. As they style of writing for both of these units require tip-top perfect mandarin, my blindness for grammatical errors has resulted in my damm mediocre grades. These assignments are not damm difficult that requires extensive readings, but the difficulty lies in the excruciating need for perfect editing. Take for example, the post I made about the status of art in the Latrobe Valley, I made so much effort to do my research and I ended up with only a passing grade. This has made me reluctant and fearful of doing my other assignments. Nevertheless, i never give up with my mandarin, i read Chinese "Sin Chew Jit Poh" newspaper every other day, actually the chinese author writes so much better than the caucasians, please don't get me wrong, i am just merely stating my view point.

Ha! and now i discovered that's lots of people getting to learn mandarin because they are getting more like an Asean or perhaps mandarin would be the 1st ever language in the foreseable future. So, one of my blogger friend Soo Jin is learning mandarin classess if am not mistaken. Hello, for those who wanted to learn mandarin, you may ask me for translations, am willing to do that for you all.. :)

Posted by charlene at 3:33 PM | | Comments | links to this post

our asean proud


it's a lovely and cold weather on this sunday, i have never felt more alive and more loved than this morning, i am loving it. Wake up in the morning and i watched "Fearless" by Jet Li with the brother. Yeah, i like martial arts like this one.

I share a similar interest in men i find cute. First, it was Simon Cooper, now it is Ang Lee aka our oscar winner. I simply love his passion for his job. It is not the 'cuteness' that makes him attractive but it's the passion enhanced by his 'cuteness' that makes him special. Seeing someone with such zealousness for the love of his job, makes me envious and very much motivated. I'm envious because I don't know whether if I could have such a zeal and the ability to invest immense amount of effort and time to bring the results that I want. However, this passion that Ang Lee has brings along great expectations and upon failure, he would reproach himself. My previous art teacher, Wong, is like that. He had such a passion for art and believed so much in his students that he set a record for himself, i.e, for all the students in his class to get a distinction and nothing less than that. Although my batch turned out to be a 'failure' as very few of us got a distinction (including me), I'm very glad that I took this subject for my '1st year high school'. In fact, it is not the result that would have impacted my life but how my 'artistic eye' is opened to see and comprehend the notion of art. This wealth of knowledge has been incorporated into my life and eversince then, I would go to art galleries, become aware of the cinematography in art films. Even after I finished school, I was able to share all these with him and all the movies that he recommended.
Thought of the day: am so happy to chat with Janice on the MSN today. Am looking forward to meet her sooner as soon as she's back to homeland. :)

Posted by charlene at 2:57 PM | | Comments | links to this post

Saturday, May 27, 2006

the culture shocks

just before the post, i like what janice, http://www.xanga.com/jansgirl/ post the lyric, called "vitamin C".
have you ever wondered where this selection of what you want to watch originated? Or have you ever wondered about the creation of mass culture? This is especially apt for city people because we are so sucked in by consumerism that we simply assume that, "Yes, this is our culture because it is what the media portrays to us". The answer is, "No, this is not your culture". It is not a culture to go shopping, to buy Nike shoes, Versace, Gucci, Rolex watches and showing to others your status symbol or taste in products. If you ask me personally, I have thought about this previously, even before I embarked upon this essay because I do not believe that everybody will be sucked into mainstream popular culture. It is inevitable that we are assailed by the sights and sounds of the mass media because of how we have assimilated these technologies into our lives for various means. Some of us may be selective of the media that we watch. For example, I am a high-culture buff so the minute I flip the TV guide, my eyes would reach the foreign movie. My selection in watching film art would prioritize over drama or comedy on other channels.

This distinction stems from the Idealist approach towards the mass media whereby they bemoan the loss of high culture--classical music, fine art, the bourgeoisie way of life to the invasion of mass media, especially television. To the idealist, they deem culture to be "the best that has been thought and said in the world". Many a times, I hear people telling me their unwillingness to go to an art gallery because they do not know have the "aesthetic eye". Yes, this statement is true, you have to be "educated" in the ways of the high culture to understand how culture. But then again, you need not get a degree to "know" high culture, since information in today's world is in wide array, a click of a button will make you a cultural dilettante.

Then how bout mass culture then? This came about from the Frankfurt school's approach towards analyzing culture. They see the production of culture goes hand in hand with the forces of the cultural institutions ideologies and discourses. So popular culture is generated because of economy, and how society works today is all underpinned by capitalist notions. Therefore, what you deem as good taste is actually excellent marketing strategy which psychologically influences you to choose that product over the others. All that you watch on mainstream television is being supported by economic structures in society.

To me, it is really sad that today, not many people are interested in real culture, which is the traditional way of life or to even acquire the "aesthetic eye". It is indeed ironic that classical music, which was composed out of the talents of the great musicians have a lower market value than popular music, which only takes a small band and some technology to produce. Yet, I do embrace the mass media for transmitting high culture into my life because I am not raised from a family that knows about high culture, and if I did not learn this on my own, no one else would teach me this.

Thought of the day: methinks i have been blogging too much really..heh, as though am onleave, but am not. Just write for my record.

Posted by charlene at 10:37 PM | | Comments | links to this post

he stops talking to me

so, aside the Takashi (l), Zhou Xun (m), i like the (r) one.

another of him (white)

this is another him, an Korean actor, but i do not know his name, only through piccie i had. I couldn't resist seeing him again because one of my client who looks exactly him, the first time i met my client in my office, i thought and misunderstood him as this Korean actor, but i wrongled him, but seriously, the client of mine looks exactly him..i cannot imagine. It's been total 4 months since i've last heard from him, something being complicated between my work and his point of view as a Executive Director, we had argument and i don't blame him for not keeping in touch with me for i believe he understands my situation, but sincerely i do not know what he wants now, the fact that he did not call and liaise with me at all, i hope he calls me at least i wanted to settle the problem as soon as possible, it's like hanging there for quite sometimes..if i ever travel to Sibu, Sarawak and i really wanted to meet up with him to said a word sorry, sincerely - charlene.

i haven't been happy over this case.

Posted by charlene at 9:57 PM | | Comments | links to this post

of a rainy quiet night

so, it's raining.

cold indeed and i spend 4 hours of sleep after i had just came back from work and then I had 2 dishes over dinner with mumsie and the siblings..quite satisfying food not to mention my mumsie's food were just marvelous!

my mind are feeling much better after a sufficient catch up sleep and in the imaginary things end up showing all sorts of loopholes, I end up getting stressed and upset. And even when I sleep, the nightmares just come. I don't want to think. I want to take life one step at a time once again, because no matter how much I want it to happen, I still need to spend at least 2 more years in my job. In this coming year, who knows what it will hold? I might find a new direction in life, a new passion to carry me through, or even have my current dream getting fulfilled. I'm happy, yet sad. Curious, yet scared. Meanwhile, i realized i have been loosing contact with certain friend that i used to know but i find it hard time to understands them, therefore, i quit messaging, email, calling them. It just simply no point of contact or rather i felt all are totally insignificant.

since i'll have more time tonight, i'll catch up some readings late night and listening to my favaurite songs.

Posted by charlene at 9:28 PM | | Comments | links to this post

3 years down the road

i do not want to stay here anymore longer only if i find my way out of this country to further fulfil my 3 years plan, it would be either i am going to have my full time study of the Master, or to carry on with my career full time basis in another country. Each time i think of it, i'll think of not deciding to come back any sooner..the reasons am back because i'll have to see my mumsie and siblings..other than that, i don't find a reasons to return here. Mumsie should have known am the only girl who is extremely ambitious, so everytime i told her my plan to overseas is getting sooner or later, she'll said: "good girl, go find your dreams, your life, mumsie believe in you"..*i love you mumsie, from the bottom of my heart*..i believe someday, i'll go out of the box..

Thought of the day: i can't wait any longer to fulfil my plan, time constraint really, imagine i'll go 27 years old next year, i don't have much time, i am running out of time, i just have tell meself to be patient.


Posted by charlene at 1:51 PM | | Comments | links to this post

you'll think of me ~ keith urban


I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So..

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me

And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

Thought of the day: hey, this is a nice song...loving it.
Song of the day: Home by Micheal Buble.

Posted by charlene at 1:39 PM | | Comments | links to this post

Friday, May 26, 2006

the closest work to crazy

whist taking the monorail on my way home, i realized that one really weird thing about the way I work, I realized, is that if I do manage to find a purpose in whatever that I do, I wouldn’t have any qualms about doing it after weighing out the costs/benefits ratio. Assuming that the equation is in favour of the benefits, of course. In its simplest form, it basically means that I do things because I like doing them. Of course, the human psyche being the complicated thing that it is, there are many other underlying implications about my work ethics that can be infered from what I do, but I’ll trust you guys to be smart enough to figure it out without me having to spell it out to you.

on another note, it’s also good I figure, that from where I work, I’m exposed to certain elements of HR management, because for any major organisation, people do form the backbone of their work process, so it’s a really good insight. Aside, I also get the chance to put all my IT skills into practice on a daily basis through handling all the data that I come into contact with, as well as through the maintainance and management of my own personal databases that I use to streamline my workflow, or to help others with their work. And please don’t give me the crap about how slack my vocation is apparently supposed to be. Much like the infantry soldier is constantly required to have his rifle, field equipment and knowledge of field craft handy when he is in the field of duty, I carry around with me knowledge of computer systems and management skills, and the keyboard and mouse are the tools of my trade. I just happen to have the advantage that I have a background and exposure in what I do now, comparatively I don’t think that anyone could be familiar with any of the IT Terms, the CA modules, e-trust nor uni-center.

anyways, i'll be collecting my new car come monday latest by early next week. meanwhile, am looking forward to my upcoming trips to Phuket and Shanghai.

thought of the day: i haven't come out with the solutions of Simon, the client. Real depressed.




Posted by charlene at 11:10 PM | | Comments | links to this post

friday with coffee, rose & the rainy day

a cuppa coffee latte will be just nice sitting infront of the office window and seeing the rainy day. The rains have been generous here every other day, methinks i simply loves rainy days..my colleague and i almost getting ready to pack things up for home. We hesitated and chit and chat for some moment while listening to "u'll think of me" by Keith Urban. Considering this is my favourite type of song.

i can't believe i skipped the gym again because i rushed home just to watch the "American Idol" although i already know the "Taylor Hicks" won. He sang so much better than "Katherine McPhee"..meh, i thought she was hot and sexy!

yeah! i had a few small cuppa's roses tea with mumsie after the dinner..mind you, this is my favaourite slimming tea, i love roses.

Posted by charlene at 10:13 PM | | Comments | links to this post

his blog

i cannot tolerate with him anymore till i finally found him written something which i would have thought it will never ever comes from his mind, but he did. The fact that in his initial blog, he personally thinks that writting a diary/blog/journal/friendster's blog/ are a whole bunch of craps, dare he said that!!!! Hey, correct me if am wrong, if you are thinking that way, why did you write in the first place and telling people that about your thought?? I don't meant to pin point you false, but i am merely stating my view point. If you ask me personally, what's wrong with blogging? was that a particular facet towards you? or you don't care at all, couldn't be bother about what's happiness, sadness about people. If you have the thought, try figure out why does the internet exist? why are you reading the blog of others? for all you know, i hate what you said " blogging are the whole bunch of craps"..be aware be very aware.

p/s: he used to be a very special someone in my heart, this is no longer! i beg you are such a craps indeed.

Posted by charlene at 8:52 PM | | Comments | links to this post

french art/firm festival 2006


i just read the chinese newspaper published on the above. It sounds interesting! Actually, i love frenchie movie more than the english for some reasons. Methinks i may join Irene and the gangs. So, anyone up for this?

Posted by charlene at 8:11 PM | | Comments | links to this post

Monday, May 22, 2006

new fresh look

Hello, this is my new layout bloggie! I am loving it so much! :)

Posted by charlene at 11:46 PM | | Comments