my this love blog has finally moved back to wordpress and this will keep for memories. I still love this blog, i won't delete you, i will forever be with you, I love you~! See you there my new blog.
www.chowcharlene.wordpress.com
Monday, July 23, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
lonely lonely night
nothing is impossible.
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while i was driving alone, i realized somethng so so odd but i know i have always been a person who is quite happy to spend time by myself. I am just as sociable as anyone, and like having friends around me, but it has never been a problem for me to be something of a solitary figure. I often watch movies by myself, visit art galleries by myself, grab a bite to eat by myself. But I find it quite strange that so many people i meet are absolutely appalled at the thought of doing that! It appears that the thought of buying one single ticket, and watching a movie by themselves would be the end of their universe, and life as they know it would end!
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tell me why is this?! Either you find yourself so disinteresting that you feel bored to have only yourself for company! That would sad; if you don't find yourself inspiring, who will? Or you have a great social phobia, that if people see you on your own they will look down on you as a loser who has no friends. This seems to be a crippling lack of self assurance and too much regard given to what others think. You see, people don't seems to find me easily or they don't even bother to seek for me. I'd admit, i love to hide.
tell me why is this?! Either you find yourself so disinteresting that you feel bored to have only yourself for company! That would sad; if you don't find yourself inspiring, who will? Or you have a great social phobia, that if people see you on your own they will look down on you as a loser who has no friends. This seems to be a crippling lack of self assurance and too much regard given to what others think. You see, people don't seems to find me easily or they don't even bother to seek for me. I'd admit, i love to hide.
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tell you what, i am working on a project with a touch-screen panel that has live-time weather broadcast. Don't you love technology? :), Awww, i am so tired now. Goodnight.
Monday, July 09, 2007
those chaps with same lifestyle
Just so you know, beating Japanese kids on Tetris Wifi is the best high ever. **
it was a perfect friday.
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a cuppa sweet lycee martini ended up with a grand conversation with Simon Brd was simply perfect and i was telling Simon about most malaysian chinese guy i realized.
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anyways, i am constantly perplexed by the common philosophy i hear from various young adults my age that in the clubs i go to, i would never date a guy/girl I met there. This seems to be a baffling, self-hating, obstacle filled way of thinking, in a country where many people complain about being single, and even society as a whole addresses the issue of not enough couples, and not enough married baby making.
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you see, if you yourself go to clubs, Thai club, Zouk, The rush etc, how can you possibly look down on the opposite who go to the same club? By saying the girls you meet there will not be of a sufficient 'quality' simply because they are in a club to drink dance and have fun, exactly as you are, surely you are necessarily saying you yourself are also not very desireable as a prospective bf; not of sufficient quality.
you see, if you yourself go to clubs, Thai club, Zouk, The rush etc, how can you possibly look down on the opposite who go to the same club? By saying the girls you meet there will not be of a sufficient 'quality' simply because they are in a club to drink dance and have fun, exactly as you are, surely you are necessarily saying you yourself are also not very desireable as a prospective bf; not of sufficient quality.
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i could be wrong, meeting new people and potential gf/bf's is exactly what clubs are designed for, and with the relaxed inhibitions of the party goers, the high number of individuals present and the approximate exact cross section of peers both socially and age-wise, clubs are not just a good place to meet someone, they are the best place for it! Meeting a nice quiet passive good girl in a book store might happen for some, but the truth is your chances are higher when putting yourself out there amongst the social and interacting as best you can, and to dismiss clubs as a place you could never meet a gf/bf is like a smoker dumping a girlfriend because her smoking habit makes their kisses taste of ash.
i could be wrong, meeting new people and potential gf/bf's is exactly what clubs are designed for, and with the relaxed inhibitions of the party goers, the high number of individuals present and the approximate exact cross section of peers both socially and age-wise, clubs are not just a good place to meet someone, they are the best place for it! Meeting a nice quiet passive good girl in a book store might happen for some, but the truth is your chances are higher when putting yourself out there amongst the social and interacting as best you can, and to dismiss clubs as a place you could never meet a gf/bf is like a smoker dumping a girlfriend because her smoking habit makes their kisses taste of ash.
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hello a very good morning.good evening people, have I told you that my record on Tetris DS is over 11 million? ok, Goodnight now.
message from C.K
tonight, i met a couple of old pri classmates during Vincent and Mandy's wedding dinner.
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just a thought. I always taught myself to think that there somehow has to be a hidden meaning behind everything that happens to each and everyone of us, and how we often will not see it until much much later. But much much later, I now find that even with new found meaning, there isn't an answer guranteed to resolve those questions that you once, and perhaps still bear. I find myself looking further back in time further than i usually might, attempting to pay further scrutiny to scenes that once were, yet even more uncertainty i still experience. So i just shut my eyes and relish being thrown back into that moment once more, since that is possibly all that can be salvaged from such an effort.
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寂寞常常来临, 我想一辈子住在爱情海.
寂寞常常来临, 我想一辈子住在爱情海.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
last summer with few people
i am extremely love your hair to the max. You look so good with this hair, really really nice. Now, i am enjoying your 319 pieces of pictures in the album you have had send me.:) thank you Janice~! *hug*it's been a month i have been patiently awaiting my friend from L.A. Where are you huh??
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so, i suspect most of us would use major life events to mark the passage of time and we would relate minor life events to these larger ones when asked to place them in the continuum of time. So for instance, if I was asked when event ”A” occurred, i would remember that “A” occurred shortly before event “B” and that “B” happened on “X” date, so “A” must have been shortly before “X”.
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you know, my major life markers: mid-1999 was marked by my return to university. In September 2000, I went to the Taiwan. I began my Advanced Diploma in 2000. In August 2002, I finished that lot of studying and returned to Malaysia. I started on one of my better work-experiences in April 2003 at the Australian High Commissions. In August 2004, my hurt broken by one of that guy. I went back to working world in February 2005. And in January 2006, I made my first apprehensive return to the I.T World until now.
you know, my major life markers: mid-1999 was marked by my return to university. In September 2000, I went to the Taiwan. I began my Advanced Diploma in 2000. In August 2002, I finished that lot of studying and returned to Malaysia. I started on one of my better work-experiences in April 2003 at the Australian High Commissions. In August 2004, my hurt broken by one of that guy. I went back to working world in February 2005. And in January 2006, I made my first apprehensive return to the I.T World until now.
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today, someone asked me how long i had known a particular friend. I went through my memory and recalled that I had met her after I had begun on that wonderful work-experience but before the relationship ended. However I could not quite place when I had met her in the time between February 2002 and August 2004 - those were the lost, and best forgotten, years.
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it's been almost exactly three years since I last saw him when he was a doctor in north. Truth be told - although i have managed to find happiness however short-lived and build a life elsewhere, there's still a part of me that still grieves for the early end of what could have been; a part of me that wonders if things couldn't have turned out differently, a part of me that asks if perhaps we might not find each other again on this long journey of life. I wonder what he is doing, where he may be and whom he might be seeing but I know it still hurts too much to know. A part of me still hasn't let go, but i always remind myself to be strong and most importantly things would never turned back, i just have to get him out of my memory, so simple, simple as that - you must remember you gave me a song "she will be loved by maroon 5"
it's been almost exactly three years since I last saw him when he was a doctor in north. Truth be told - although i have managed to find happiness however short-lived and build a life elsewhere, there's still a part of me that still grieves for the early end of what could have been; a part of me that wonders if things couldn't have turned out differently, a part of me that asks if perhaps we might not find each other again on this long journey of life. I wonder what he is doing, where he may be and whom he might be seeing but I know it still hurts too much to know. A part of me still hasn't let go, but i always remind myself to be strong and most importantly things would never turned back, i just have to get him out of my memory, so simple, simple as that - you must remember you gave me a song "she will be loved by maroon 5"
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and you.you.you gave a song "hurt by christina aguilera" tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow...end of story.
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TGIF~! I am happily looking forward to meet up the irish guy for dinner tomorrow :), saturday rest and sunday go to vincent's wedding, happy weekend ;)
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
where is the love?
my work agenda was fully occupied today. Life has been grand.
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you know, it's been about a year since i've been on a date. The last relationship hurt pretty bad and i am still in recovery. Lame, but i haven't been interested in anybody as of late, i haven't been out as much, and i never meet people who seem to be interested in me. It's like i'm invisible/anonymous. Actually, it's exactly what it's like. I don't stand out because I don't want to; i like blending in with the rest of the crowd and be as ordinary as possible. However, being that way puts me in the catagory of potential men i never want to date. You know the kind. The creepy forty-fifty year old men, or whatever hip new club is out there who have their eye on you, because you look like an easy piece of ass. You're small, timidly, standing alone with a cocktail in your hand, minding your own business and people watching. I get them all the time.
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where was I going with all this? Oh, yeah. Dating. I haven't been on a date in about a year? maybe longer. Although i'm not ready to go on a date my heart is still recovering from a burn i received long long time ago, i want to go on one, just dinner and a movie, and it doesn't have to be with a guy. It can be with a girlfriend, a family member, or whoever. I just want to go on dates, one or two during the week, to get out of this house and go on a mini-adventure.
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last.2.weeks.
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I've got an Irish man who dated me. We had the real close to close conversation ever. I would never forget. Those conversations and followed by our emails to each other, i am going to keep it to myself. Reserved. I am beginning to think that i'm one of those girls that will forever be your best friend, but i could never be your gf, only because let's face it, and i'm being very bold for saying so just because i can't meet anyone?, i'm pretty damn awesome, and you wouldn't want to ruin the friendship we already have with a relationship.
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janice, i must tell you that you have got a very nice and beautiful haircut. To be honest with you, i like your hair and i wanted to cut that out like yours, unfortunately, my hairstylist won't be able to do it for me because my hair is thin..aiyo! Anyways, i really want the pictures, can I? haha..i am going for a date with my gf, janice next year? tentatively..:)
Sunday, July 01, 2007
morning with my little cafe's warming
oh, little cafe
the little cafe is up and warming. The little cafe's has been designed with traditional chinese/japanese style. Lot's of people says it looks natural green. We did alot of role play, trying out food, trying out milk shake ice white coffee blended, it took time for the process but i was really excited. I feel like i am a bar tender, shake.shake.shake your body, it is a good feel being a little boss..haha..thanks to mum, sista and all the hard work and time spent for the little cafe while i was on my day job. Much appreciated. I love all of you~!
i know i shouldn't have mention it again. Unfortunately it happened again. Sorry, you guys dissappointed me again. Not like I don't invite you for my little cafe warming. I did the invitation much more earlier. Today, most you never turn up and you don't even bother to gimme a bell, you guys kept throwing me message saying you couldn't come, this and that. Fine! I realized I don't have to response your message, as though like i am trying to persuading you to come. No. I couldn't be bother. I was angry with myself - for letting others govern my life, for allowing them to subconsciously affect my decisions because they know I care too much for their feelings, for listening to all their subtle hints of all the things they want me to do because they think it's for the best, and for letting myself down once again. I know last time i will beg you to come, i try so hard to make you come. That was last time, I am no longer that charlene. Bear in mind, you guys really disappointed me again. But i would never care anymore.
life still goes on and today i did alot of laugher, chatting with some other closest friend. Oh yes, i have written a few Chinese Caligraphy to be place in the little cafe..show you my chinese caligraphy in the next picture. 15 years ago, i was a famous chinese caligraphy representative in the primary school.
